By Angel Lopez:
It’s rather easy to give up on a dream. Sure, the process comes with a ton of trying first. Or beating yourself up when things go wrong. Or just plain living in denial that you ever had a dream to begin with so you don’t have to think about how it never manifested into your reality. But somewhere in there, you find yourself able to just procrastinate or get caught up in other areas of life to the point where the dream goes away. Or you let the monsters of self-doubt or apathy invade your headspace to the point that they just become permanent residents, causing all interest in your dreams to vanish into smoke. You also may just get tired. Going after a dream starts to feel like insanity. That thing you felt was your purpose here on Earth seems like a childhood fantasy that’s now gotten out of hand. Maybe it’s just time to let it go.
Or is it?
You’ve probably already had a dream come true in your lifetime. It may not have turned out exactly the way you’d envisioned or wanted, but you got it. So why would you think that the one bigger dream you have is impossible to achieve? It’s just bigger, perhaps.
Remember that climbing a mountain comes with a lot of little hills, where you have to stop along the way to catch your breath.
Perhaps, you’ve just needed a moment to catch your breath. And it could even be that in that time, your dream has evolved. The big picture you had for your life has taken somewhat of a different shape, one that suits your needs and hopes right now.
Take a pause this Capricorn Season to get present with your desires. Sometimes you’re going after something that an old version of you concocted, when the person you are now could care less. Why would you push yourself down a road that no longer holds your interest? Just to prove a point? Take this moment to get extremely present with yourself and ask:
“What is the big dream that I want to manifest into being for my future, and why?”
And be really honest with yourself. Is your ego holding on to something that is no longer necessary? If so, what’s the dream now? And if not, then what behaviors have you been allowing to contribute to the delay of your dream? How can you change the landscape of your mind to accommodate more passion, more conviction, and more confidence for what you believe in your heart to be true?
Read for your Sun sign but also check your Rising, if you know it.
How is the work and life experience you’re engaging in contributing to the legacy you will one day leave behind? Now, please don’t think this question is meant to invite a morbid affair. In fact, this curiosity is intended to induce some daydreaming about all the life you have left to live and how you’re going to choose to fill it. Will you want the world fondly thinking of you as someone who tirelessly went after what they desired, regardless of any adversity? Or will you want people to think you were someone who was nice but didn’t try too hard, more excited to fade into the shadows than make a difference? Yes, you could fade into basic oblivion if you like. But maybe challenge yourself to start acting as if the world will be talking about you someday and make your decisions from a place of active interest in what they’ll have to say.
If you were a religion, what would be the five core tenets to live by? Your life will benefit from getting incredibly clear about what beliefs and values motivate you. If you can get more honest about that, then you’ll begin to see where any disconnect in your life is stemming from, causing any motionless progress or lack of fulfillment. You may find that you’ve built some major systems and relationships into your life that don’t actively support the goals you have. And to get that forward movement, you have to accept the truth of what you see. You may find that the elements of your life that aren’t in alignment with your core truth would be unbelievably challenging to dismantle. And you certainly don’t want to turn your whole life upside down. But if that demolition is going to make you happier, wiser, and more successful in the long run, isn’t a little chaos worth the eventual peace?
You’re such a people person and process so much of life through the relationships you keep. But there’s a slight pitfall in that. You can sometimes turn outward when it comes to placing blame on why things are struggling to come together. You may make everything everyone else’s fault. The world is a mess, therefore so are you. But what if you could shift that sentiment to see yourself as the mess that is easily cleaned up once removed from the world, and company, you’ve just gotten used to keeping? This doesn’t mean you need to now sit in a bunch of shame and blame around all your problems, nor do you need to fully clear the decks when it comes to your relationships. But it is necessary that you get under the skin of why you’re drawn to who compels you and whether you’re using them as a distraction from the greater questions that would solve some deeper dilemmas.
You’re like an emotional sponge who easily picks up on another’s energies to the point that they merge with yours and shift your own energy, for better or worse. But if you don’t have a proper cleansing ritual, then you’re just continuing on with their anger, sadness, or confusion stained all over you, making you feel angry, sad, or unsure. Your goal is to give yourself a spirit bath. Or, better yet, you need an energetic spa day. Take a day off to disconnect from others and plug back in to your own heart’s desires and joys. Find a little distance from those whose emotions hold power over you so you don’t have anyone to worry about but yourself. You could also utilize some practical energy clearing tools like palo santo, selenite, or a good old-fashioned bath. Anything to get off the invisible gunk you may be sitting in. This will help you step into your next chapter feeling refreshed and refocused.
Could you do an even better job of approaching each day like an artist stepping toward an empty canvas? If you’re feeling like that is a completely alien way of moving through life, then you may have a little more work to do than you realize. Because if you’re not moving with this type of excited imagination, then you may be feeling rather blah with the state of your being. So shake things up and give that different style of living a test drive. Now, if you’re already entering the day with a brush in hand and an eye toward creation, then you may benefit from expanding on your vision and your way of advancing in order to generate an even more exciting flow. Regardless of where you are in this process, know that now is an incredibly ripe time to start to bring changes into your life where you can feel more in control and find some more fun.
There’s been some necessary focus on family and home, particularly in the level of responsibility you hold in those areas, and you may be struggling with some overwhelm when it comes to holding space for the people you love. The trouble is, you love so deeply that the feeling is potentially uncomfortable to you. That makes it hard to stop holding space. You look at everything like a job to accomplish, and your relationships are no exception, so you will do what it takes to get anything done for someone who holds your heart. However, you may be giving away too much of the time, energy, and love that could be going into some passions of your own. Can you take a step back from the other people in your life and make room for the relationship with your own enjoyment, interests, and creativity? They won’t fall apart if you take more time for what you love outside of them.
Your job is to take a trip down memory lane and make a list of all the great lessons you’ve learned so far in this lifetime. Okay, I know that sounds like the most ridiculously daunting task that anyone’s ever asked of you, so let’s just start with the last 10 years. Consider what the most powerful experiences were of each of those years and then boil down a lesson that came through, regardless of whether you actively learned and integrated the truth of it into your life. The reason being, you have the chance to really learn from your mistakes right now and move beyond holding on to them. In fact, you could actually change those behaviors that have kept you stuck if you could just value the truths of those lessons more than you value any of your stubborn routines. And it’s more so mental habits that need to transform. So use your history to see where a lesson didn’t fully land and change your mind to learn it once and for all.
You’re entering a period where you can really put some strong intention and motivation into what it is you want to be accomplishing, but you have to get your mind in the game. This is going to come when you eliminate the unnecessary distractions from your daily life. Put the ritualistic habits in the drawer for a few weeks. And put your phone there too while you’re at it. You don’t need to be wasting valuable time with frivolity. You hate frivolous shit anyway. Start to take your thoughts more seriously and focus your time and energy toward whatever it is your ideas are asking of you. Feel the excitement of accomplishment compelling you forward. And do not let any sort of lack come into play. No lack of faith in your goals. No lack of ambition. No lack of enthusiasm. You deserve a moment of true abundance. Believe that!
Your focus is going to be on your resources and money, what goes into pulling it in and how it interacts with your feelings of inner worth. For one, you may at times feel like your sense of value outweighs the number on your direct deposit, and that’s probably true. But don’t fall into the trap of spiritual speak where you’re told that your money situation is a reflection of how much you love yourself. That is some bullshit designed to help sell someone’s book or workshop. The reality is the economy and the patriarchy are troubled systems that we cannot avoid. It’s in our societal DNA that we were all born into. Your job is to indicate just how much of a hold that societal mentality has on you and to make sure you’re not making foolish decisions that stem from a place of feeling worthless. We can tell ourselves we’re buying the expensive thing to honor ourselves when we’re really just hoping for the unnecessary approval of others. And you don’t need it.
You’re truly one of the most capable signs in the Zodiac, able to solve the major problems of your life to great success, and that’s a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, you can overcome any obstacle, even if the process rips you apart. You can balance heart and practicality, knowing when to lead with emotion versus common-sense. And you’re a beacon of resiliency, adept when it comes to dusting yourself off and getting back into the fight. However, the curse part comes with you expecting the most of yourself because you know your ability. You can be so hard on yourself, critical without sensitivity, and now is the time to learn how to treat yourself better when it comes to process. What words of encouragement could you be offering yourself on a daily basis? And can you recognize that some things don’t happen because it wasn’t meant to be and something better is on its way?
This is your time to remember that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. That’s not meant to entice you to detach further from reality, a practice I know you enjoy. Really, this is supposed to excite you to spend more time with the spirit layer of reality, to move through all of your experiences as if in a dream, where anything is possible and magical occurrences are possible at any moment. Remember, you’re the rebel of the Zodiac, so do a little rebelling against the structures you’ve put into place up ‘til this point and invite in a little bit of the unknown. You would benefit from making less plans, rolling with the punches, and saying yes with your heart when your mind says no. Talk to your soul more and take its lead. The only real direction you should be taking right now is from that special part of you.
You really would be comfortable just moving through life without any actual direction or major responsibility. That’s not to say you’re not good at those things. It just means that if you could, you’d take a year off and vagabond down whatever path had the most promise for a good outcome. And that may be sounding incredibly good right now, since you may be feeling like you have a little more on your plate than you’d like to be accountable for. Try approaching all of your duties with a little bit of that whimsy and really try to wrap your head around whether you’re honoring your truest aspirations with the life you’re currently living. Is everything adding up to a potential future you can be excited to have, or are you making life harder by doing too many things you actually don’t enjoy? Build yourself a life that gets you closer to living with that freedom you know you need to fully thrive.
Angel Lopez is a film producer, writer, astrologer, and co-host of the podcast, THE SPIRITUAL GAYZ alongside his husband, our Spiritual Guru Brandon Alter. Angel has been studying and working with both tarot and astrology for twenty years. He hosted the astrology web-series, ASTRO TALK WITH ANGEL, and writes the blog ASTROLOGY REALNESS. He has also had pieces published on Upworthy.com and The Huffington Post.
On the film side, Angel produced the Sundance Film Festival award winning film DEAR WHITE PEOPLE, as well as the features THE DINNER and STATE LIKE SLEEP. He also wrote and directed his own short film, I CAN’T WITH YOU, which had its premiere at the 2016 HollyShorts Film Festival, and he recently finished producing filmmaker Justin Simien’s second feature, BAD HAIR. Visit www.thespiritualgayz.com to learn more. To sign up for The Spiritual Gayz newsletter click here.