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The Inner Partner

By Brandon Alter:

I’m thinking about relationships. And I’m thinking about the fact that the most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves. Your relationship with you is the bedrock of your whole experience on Earth. And it’s hard to talk about because that inner relationship is different for everybody; it looks different, and it feels different. But I’m wondering, when was the last time you took a moment, got still, and connected with your own inner partner? THE OTHER HALF OF YOU THAT IS STILL YOU.

What would your inner partner have to say? Would it be sweet? Would it be shady? What is it like to live in your own head? Is your inner partner your lover, your best friend, or your enemy?

I can only share from my own experience, but my inner partner is JUST as complex and complicated as I am. Sometimes my inner partner is an ally and sometimes he is trying to tear me down. Some days my inner partner is readily available, other days she hides. But the most important thing I do every day is to continue to cultivate this relationship, with the me that no one else will ever meet. You may catch glimpses of him, but he isn’t for you—she is for me and me alone.

In the same way our social media profiles expose our outer faces, when did you last look your inner partner in the eye? Has it been a hot minute? In my opinion (and I’m just as guilty of this), we have been spending too much time tending to other people’s opinions of us and not enough time tending to our own opinions of ourselves. See, when you and your inner partner have it going on, no one can tear you down or break your heart—because you know you always have your own back. When you and your inner partner are on the rocks, you could win an Oscar and still feel like shit.

There’s only one person you have to get right with in this life, and it isn’t you . . . it’s the you inside you. And no matter how long it’s been since you’ve tried to reach her, I promise she’ll be happy to hear from you!


Brandon Alter is a queer healer, Tarot reader, teacher, mystic, and writer living in Los Angeles. He is passionate about sharing spiritual tools that have helped him reconnect to the wisdom of his heart. Brandon is the Tarot reader in residence for The Numinous and he co-hosts The Spiritual Gayz with his husband, a twice-monthly podcast dedicated to exploring the wide reaches of spirituality, without pretending that it all makes sense. Brandon’s mom took him to his very first psychic when he was seven and gave him his first Tarot deck when he was eleven. Since then he has devoted himself to the study of Tarot, Yoga, Pilates, Reiki, Astrology, and Shamanic Skills. Visit to learn more. To sign up for The Spiritual Gayz newsletter and get these Tarotscopes delivered to your inbox, click here.

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