By Elizabeth Gracen:
This past couple of years, through no real effort of my own, I've somehow reconnected with various people I met in the 1980s. Through a random set of connections and the "good things" about social media, I've circled back round and restarted relationships. For the most part, it has proven fruitful and insightful, a way of gauging the timeline and to marvel at how quickly it has all passed by.
In September of 1981, I was crowned Miss America, and in May of 1982, Terri Utley was crowned Miss USA—the first time two beauty pageant winners from Arkansas were crowned in the same year. Back in the 80s, this type of thing was a big deal—especially to people in Arkansas. To be quite honest, I was a little bitchy about the whole thing at the time. I had been well-trained to compete with women by that point, and the fact that there was another beauty queen from Arkansas threatened me to some degree. What a greedy little beauty queen I was! But, what makes this story interesting and a little less (or more) laughable is the fact that both Terri and I were hired as spokesmodels by a farm machinery company to appear at their sales event in mid-America a couple of years after our "reigns." We shared time together signing autographs, having our photos taken with farmers in front of huge yellow farm machinery, and getting the chance to know each other just a little bit better. At the time, I think I apologized for being such a bitch if I had ever said anything derogatory about her, but in case I didn't properly apologize, I'd like to publicly do it again now!
I'm so sorry, Terri. You were, are, and will always be fabulous!
So, long story short, Terri and I did not keep in touch. It was the days long before emails and social media, so we simply didn't hold on to the new thread that connected us; but as fate would have it, she reached out to me via FB messenger this past year. Since then we've Zoomed, and I took her The Worthiness Quotient: Claim Your Crown . . . Lead a Life You Love! course this past year during the lockdown. Her ideas and meditations truly helped me out of the funk I was feeling about the world and my place in it, so I recommend you jump on the Terri Britt train to access the useful tools and guidance to give you hope and elevate your perspective.
I reached out to Terri to talk to her about her life and all the ups and downs, twists and turns that have brought her to this present moment.
Please meet this powerful, peaceful energy healer—Terri Britt!
EG: Terri, first of all, I’m so thrilled that you reached out to me earlier this year via Facebook! Life has a funny way of bringing us back around to people we never thought we would ever see again, and I’m so happy that we found each other after so many years. Our lives took very different paths after our beauty queen days in Arkansas, but we have a lovely, unique connection. Would you please tell our readers a little bit about yourself and the work you are doing to help people raise their awareness and learn to truly love themselves and find the wealth of abundance that they are so worthy of?
TB: I’m so glad I reached out, too! Thank you for this opportunity to share my heart and my passion with your readers. I often hear women say, “I’m worthy. I’ve owned my worth.” Yet, they still struggle in creating deeply passionate and intimate relationships, or their careers suffer, as well as their finances and their health. Women tend to feel way out of balance and are often buried in self-judgment and emotional chaos.
I see this because I am a spiritual coach, intuitive, and energetic healer, as well as the founder of the Women Leaders of Love global community. For almost 25 years, I’ve coached people from all walks of life—such as television executives, entrepreneurs, doctors, nurses, moms, dads, teens, and kids—and what I know for sure is that many women don’t truly feel seen, heard, or valued, in spite of the fact that they claim they are worthy. So, they get on a hamster wheel of trying to prove their worth, “performing” and denying themselves to “win” love, success, and happiness.
The problem with women “performing” is that others watch us and learn. We are the nurturers of the world. So, through our actions, we set an example of self-sacrifice, believing this is love or the “right thing to do.” Then we wonder why there’s so much division in our world. It’s because we’ve perpetuated a cycle of lack, pain, and suffering.
I am on a mission to help women own their worth and break this cycle by creating a deeper connection to themselves, and to God and the Universe, so they feel loved, nurtured, and supported in every area of their life and step into their greatest life calling as Women Leaders of Love.
EG: Your website is chock full of instructive, inspiring content. Your work as an author, energy healer, speaker, mother, love expert (the list goes on!) is amazing. One of my favorite passages on the site is a quote from you:
“As we women STOP PERFORMING for love and approval, trying to always get it right, and instead give ourselves PERMISSION to stand in our truths, we set an example for others to lead lives of abundance, too! As we nurture and accept ourselves, that unconditional love will overflow to our families, our communities and the world. We women have the power to create a global shift when we take responsibility for healing our own lives . . . one person at a time. And it starts with each of us first.”
This quote represents the wisdom that comes from experience and some hard knocks, but you’ve tapped into something very different here. It’s high-frequency energy that elicits change and can motivate even the most closed-off person to step into a new awareness of life’s possibilities. How in the hell did a beauty queen from Cabot, Arkansas, find herself in the position of teacher and healer? What do you hope to accomplish with what you’ve learned about energy, spirit, and intention?
TB: I was one of those women I described earlier who always performed, trying to “win” love and approval. In fact, on the night of winning Miss USA 1982, just moments after being crowned, I felt immense guilt. All I could think about was that I had just ruined my boyfriend’s life because I was about to be shipped to New York, and he was being left behind in Arkansas. You can actually see the guilt on my face as I looked out into the audience where I knew my boyfriend was sitting.
The guilt was so profound that after the coronation ball, I sat with my family in my hotel room and discussed giving the crown back. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s the truth. I had been raised to live by Good Girl Rules, and those rules told me that it wasn’t okay to receive abundance. And that I had to deny myself to be loving. It wasn’t until years later when I became a mom that I realized how deeply ingrained those Good Girl Rules were, and that I had anger issues as a result.
I constantly performed for my family and often found myself controlling my kids and hubby, expecting them to “fill me up” and “make me feel loved.” In my mind, I was doing everything to make them happy and denying myself, so I believed they should do the same in return. When they didn’t, I often lashed out in anger. No matter how much I tried to do it right or be a good mom, I constantly felt as if I wasn’t enough. And I definitely didn’t feel loved.
My anger and controlling nature really got my attention when I pushed my kids to perform for the outside world. I was trying to make them “be good” or “be the best,” depending on the situation. I thought I was being loving and doing the “right thing” as a mom. I truly believed I was preparing them for the future. But I couldn’t stand myself and the knee-jerk reactions I often had. Thankfully, at a therapist’s suggestion (because she said I was “wound too tightly”), I entered a healing school to learn about meditation, energy, and intuitive healing.
What I soon discovered is that everything is a mirror. Your outer world is a mirror to your inner world. Whatever energy you’re emitting is what you’ll experience in your life.
At that time, back in the mid-90s, everyone thought I was a little “woo woo” when I talked about energy. LOL! But now science tells us that we are all made of energy. And our thoughts create feelings, and those feelings emit a vibration. The Law of Vibration says the energy you emit attracts similar energy. Through my schooling, I learned to truly value these energetic truths and then was guided to bring those tools into my home. Every time I wanted to lash out or control my loved ones, I went into gratitude to see the gifts of what they were mirroring to me.
For instance, I used to feel that my hubby didn’t hear me, and I would often get mad. But after learning about energy, instead of blaming him, I saw it as an opportunity to go within and heal. I dove deep within via meditation to see what hidden belief was causing my vibration to attract such lack and pain. That’s when I discovered I had a childhood belief that said I couldn’t be heard. I had taken on this belief as an infant in the crib because my parents had made a conscious decision to not pick me up when I cried for fear of spoiling me.
As soon as I released that false belief, my relationship with my hubby changed. No longer did I see him as not hearing me. Instead, I saw him as a messenger of God, helping me to heal. Whew! What a relief!!
It was through this attitude of gratitude and my commitment to healing where I began to see incredible shifts not only in my life but also in my home. More than I could have ever imagined! Our whole family dynamic transformed for the better because I was healing and loving myself. That’s when I began to put two and two together and finally realized that performing is what caused my stress and struggle, and what caused my family’s suffering.
Think of it this way…
If you’re trying to “win” love, success, and happiness by denying who you truly are, you’re emitting a vibration that says, “I am not enough, and I am not worthy of love.” And because of the Law of Vibration, you’ll attract things that feel hard or like punishment.
Feeling as if my hubby didn’t hear me definitely felt like punishment. Instead of having an open heart towards him, I would shut down, perpetuating that cycle all over again. But when I committed to loving myself and quit looking for him to fill me up, we found a connection to each other that we had never experienced.
For over two decades now, my intention has been to love myself unconditionally. It is my daily focus. With each release of false beliefs, I feel a deeper connection to my soul and to God than I’ve ever felt. And because of this, I feel enough. I feel worthy. I no longer need to control anyone, nor look for love outside of myself. Instead, I surrender every relationship and situation. And because I feel worthy, I am open to receive the miracles that show up daily.
Women will claim, “I am worthy,” but they are saying that from their conscious minds. However, it is our subconscious minds that run 95% of our lives. The hidden beliefs there often tell us we are NOT worthy and, thus, we emit a low vibration. In other words, we’re living at a low Worthiness Quotient and don’t even know it!
I have a daily practice of meditating and connecting to God, so I receive a lot of Divine guidance. I was shown that your Worthiness Quotient is how open you are to receiving love, nurturing, and support simply for who you were created to be. That means no performing. It means standing in your truth and loving yourself unconditionally.
Your Worthiness Quotient is based in the vibration you emit. How high or low your WQ sits is determined by how much love you give to yourself.
This goes completely against those Good Girl Rules. Most of us have not been taught to love ourselves and stand in our truths. Instead, we are taught to perform for the outside world.
Looking for love from the outside world is never the key to your happiness. Standing in your truth is.
I had a glimpse of this the night I won Miss USA. During the Top 12 Interview competition, Bob Barker asked me what I did in Cabot, Arkansas, population 4,000, on a Saturday night. In my very Southern drawl, I said, “In the winter we stay at home, but in the summer we tend to go downtown at the Tastee Freeze. This is funny. My friends at home are going to shoot me. But we sit on the back of the truck sometimes. I have a friend that plays the banjo, and some of the guys dip Skoal and, you know, drink a little beer. It’s a good time.”
I stood in my truth and won. Wow! What a shock. My face said it all. This was just moments before feeling guilty for leaving my boyfriend behind. After the shock of winning, I then felt emptiness. I remember asking myself, “Is this it?” And then the guilt bubbled up to the surface.
As you can see, I was in emotional chaos. I stood in my truth, and a miracle showed up. But I couldn’t claim that crown because I lived by those darn Good Girl Rules.
I’ve learned that unconditional love for yourself is the key to everything you want. It’s the key to dynamic relationships, a life of passion and purpose, a career that you love, financial abundance, and vibrant health. The problem with this, however, is that we’re not taught this in our homes, nor in our schools, which carries us into an adulthood that is buried in lack.
What I know for sure now is that performing sabotages your ability to receive the love, nurturing, and support you deserve.
If you treat yourself as if you don’t matter, you’re not going to feel worthy. And in this lack, you will block abundance.
We women have been trained through the generations that denying ourselves is how we serve. That’s a lie. This “performance” only creates more lack within ourselves and for those who watch us and learn.
Our greatest act of service is when we love and nurture ourselves into alignment with God, claiming our crowns, and raising our Worthiness Quotients to inner and outer abundance.
This mission sets my soul on fire. I know at my core that we women have the power to shift the global climate, but it starts with each of us setting an intention to love ourselves unconditionally, committing to a path of healing, and becoming Women Leaders of Love.
EG: Can you tell our readers about the many services and course offerings that you have on your site? Where should someone start if they are ready to step into your world?
TB: For any girl or woman who wants MORE in her life—more love, passion, playfulness, joy, purpose, and abundance—I invite you to grab my Worthiness Quotient Breakthrough Bundle. It’s FREE! And includes my Women Leaders of Love e-book and three companion guided meditations. In this transformational bundle, you’ll receive a step-by-step guide to raising your Worthiness Quotient so you step into your purpose as a Woman Leader of Love. You can grab it at www.terribritt.com/leaders.
If you’re wondering if you’ve TRULY owned your worth, in every facet of your life, I have a fabulous quiz to help you see where your Worthiness Quotient sits. You can take it at www.terribritt.com/quiz.
If you love being inspired, you’ll love my Worthiness Quotient Masterclass. It’s completely free. In it, I share my story with some clear steps of how I shifted my life from anger and lack to peace, joy, abundance, AND miracles. Yes, miracles! You’re going to be blown away when you hear some of them. Plus, you’ll receive clear steps so you can open up to miracles, too. You can watch the class at www.terribritt.com/webinar.
And, finally, if you’re ready to dive deep into your subconscious mind and release the hidden beliefs that sabotage the life you want to create, you can check out my new digital program, “The Worthiness Quotient: Claim Your Crown . . . Lead a Life You Love!” This course is the culmination of over 20 years of healing my own life and coaching others from all walks of life. It is filled with incredible tools and meditations to help you raise your Worthiness Quotient and open up to receive the abundance and love you deserve. You can learn more at www.terribritt.com/worthy.
On my website, you will also find my book, The Enlightened Mom: A Mother’s Guide for Bringing Peace, Love & Light to Your Family’s Life, which won the Best Spiritual Book of the Year at both the 2011 New York and San Francisco Book Festivals, as well as my journal of awakening, Message Sent. Both of them can be found in my store at www.terribritt.com/store.
While in the store, you can check out my private coaching and energetic healing sessions. I do this over Zoom, so I get to work privately with people from all over the world.
If you’re intrigued by my mission and would like to participate with other women in a weekly free call, join us for our Women Leaders of Love “Own Your Worth Wednesdays,” every week at 2 p.m. EST. These sessions are filled with healing conversations, tips, tools, and meditations to help you own your worth. Plus, each week, several lucky Zoom participants get to ask questions and receive laser coaching and/or intuitive healings.
To be on Zoom with us, you can grab any of the free gifts I mentioned above and you’ll be added to our mailing list. All you have to do is click on the link of your choice, grab the gift, and you’ll then receive not only the gift but also get the Zoom link each Wednesday morning in your inbox.
You may also catch each week’s Own Your Worth Wednesday session on Facebook at www.facebook.com/womenleadersoflove. On this page, you can only watch and leave your comments or questions. I will then try to answer as many as possible after the call.
And, of course, we always post the replay of each session. If you’re part of our mailing list, you’ll receive an email with the replay link. You can also find the replay on my website home page at www.terribritt.com.
EG: I was lucky enough to dive into your course, “The Worthiness Quotient: Claim Your Crown . . . Lead a Life You Love!” It’s quite an extensive journey (a good one!) into the innermost workings of spirit. I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the years, but I found the “Chakra Clearing” exercises incredibly beneficial to help me calm my mind and heart. I truly learned a lot about myself through the course and how I have always denied my “empathic” gifts. I think I always call on that ability when I’m working on acting roles—tapping into my extremely sensitive nature, but not until I took your course did I realize that I have been denying that part of myself for a very long time. I’m still not sure what I need to do with this new knowledge (!), but at least I can now put a finger on what it is!
Please tell our readers what they can expect from this particular course and what they need to do to be a part of it.
TB: I’m so glad the program helped you. And I’m thrilled that you’ve tapped into your empathic gifts. I, too, denied that part of myself for years. That’s one of the really cool parts of this program: not only do you learn to love yourself unconditionally and raise your Worthiness Quotient to inner and outer abundance, but you also learn how to tap into your intuitive feelings so that you receive guidance to make your life a whole lot easier.
Over 6 modules and 18 guided meditations, this program helps you find and release the hidden beliefs in your subconscious mind that keep you at a low vibration and sabotage your happiness. Plus, you’ll learn spiritual tools to help you navigate your daily life with a lot more grace and ease.
Besides opening up to your intuition, you’ll create a deeper connection to yourself and to God/The Universe in this program and also connect to your guides so you don’t feel alone anymore. This is HUGE for releasing emotional chaos and self-doubt.
You’ll learn a LOT about energy and how to harness it, as well as flip the switch on labels and beliefs that hold you at the lowest vibrations of guilt and shame and that shut you down to receiving the abundance you deserve.
You’ll then be awakened to the amazing gift of who you are. And, if you’re like most, you’ll discover gifts you didn’t know existed. Woohoo! You’ll release blocks around money, as well as passion, because passion is key to manifesting abundance with ease. And, finally, I’ll take you step-by-step and show you how to incorporate all the tools you’ve learned in the course so that you become a master manifestor in every area of your life.
The Worthiness Quotient program is very multi-dimensional. It consists of videos, audios, journal prompts after each meditation, as well as a PDF for each module to highlight main points and give you homework, a.k.a. love work, to help you begin new daily habits.
And . . . to support you as you do the course, I have a private Facebook group where you may post your questions to me and I answer as many as I can. Plus, this is a great place to share and let us celebrate your AHAs.
Because you’ve read this far, if you’d like to dive in and truly love yourself into abundance by purchasing the Worthiness Quotient program, I want to give you a discount. Once you’re in the shopping cart, input the word CROWN in the coupon code box to save $50. To get all the details of the program and to grab it now, go to www.terribritt.com/worthy.
EG: Our lives have changed so much over the past year and a half. We are trying to move forward, trying to make sense of our lives and what the new “normal” looks like. What was this past year like for you? You have a lot of fantastic projects on your plate. What are you most looking forward to this coming year?
TB: I found the last year to be one of deep introspection, expansion, and trust. I spent many hours in meditation, journaling, and healing. As so many have done, I found myself being triggered by the outer world. And boy, there’s been, and continues to be, a lot to be triggered by. But I have tried to embrace it all. And as a result, I feel more at peace than I’ve ever felt.
As far as the forthcoming year, I’m excited to share this message of committing to unconditional love and owning your worth with people all over the world. Raising your Worthiness Quotient affects everything in your life. And I mean everything, especially since we now know so much now about energy and vibration. So, my mission is to share this message on as many stages as possible. Plus, I am currently writing a book about worthiness. My mission is to allow spirit to guide me to bring out a clear message so women and their families might thrive instead of simply survive.
EG: During this strange time of transition where our country is so polarized, where there is so much misinformation, so much anger, and so much uncertainty . . . what words of encouragement and hope can you offer to help us along our way?
TB: I believe we are in a huge spiritual awakening. Old paradigms are being dismantled. Even though it feels dark, I believe it’s happening for the rise in consciousness. If we want peace, we have to be willing to see the darkness. We have to get honest with ourselves and heal.
I want to encourage everyone who feels triggered in any way to embrace the gift of the awakening. See your reactions as opportunities to go within and look for the false beliefs that are being triggered in your subconscious mind.
Because, here’s the deal:
If you’re reacting with any lower-level emotion like anger, judgment, blame, resentment, hopelessness, or sadness, or if you have feelings of “you against me,” or thoughts such as, “I will never be enough,” or “when is it going to be my turn,” you have a belief you’re living by that is NOT THE TRUTH.
If a belief is causing you to suffer, it’s not the truth.
Let it go.
Ask, “What is my truth?” And then stand in that truth . . . without guilt.
Ask, “What can I do today for myself that will make me feel seen, heard, and valued?
Take action.
By loving yourself this way, you honor and love the way you were created. You nurture yourself into alignment with God.
EG: Thank you so much for the conversation! I look forward to following your work and leaning toward the light with you, Terri! Xxoo
TB: Thank you! I’ve loved sharing my heart with you!!
Elizabeth Gracen is the owner of Flapper Press & Flapper Films.