By Brandon Alter:
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been having trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I’ve been struggling with the basics. And no, I haven’t done all the things I’m supposed to do right now: like put on regular clothes when I wake up or commit to some sort of routine—so maybe this is all my fault. But I’m curious if there isn’t a deeper existential crisis sweeping through all of us at this time. And nobody, I mean nobody, corners the market in existential angst like Gemini.
I mean this as a complement. Gemini is the sign of the question. It wants to know why. It wants to understand. It is the first Air sign of the Zodiac, after all. And it will follow any thought stream, any conversation, no matter how bizarre, just to find their why. As Gemini season approaches (and Venus really lingers in this sign), we all become honorary Geminis, which allows us all to seek out the deeper meaning in our lives. No longer can we stave off the nagging curiosities of our soul. No longer will the status quo or surface answers satisfy us—now we are being invited into our why, the one that really matters.
The question I’m grappling with right now (and maybe you are too) is: Why bother? And this is such a perfect question to be asking as we approach the Gemini New Moon. Because the truth is, there are a lot of things in our lives that we shouldn’t be bothering with anymore. Remember that a New Moon is when the Sun and the Moon meet up in the sky. It’s essentially when your ego and your heart are in alignment, and they can have a conversation without interference. So the conversation your ego and your heart are having is about what things in your life are worth waking up for in the morning.
What people, places, activities, and endeavors actually mean something to you? It may be uncomfortable at first, but it’s ultimately liberating to explore the deeper motivation of our lives. If we were doing things for money and just money, what did we think we needed all that money for? If we were doing things for fame or prestige or status, why did we feel the need for all that? If we were doing things to impress certain people, why did we feel we needed their approval? The time has come to question everything about yourself, and in this relentless questioning we begin to find ways to get free.
There are four planets retrograde in the sky right now (Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto, and our girl Venus), and this sort of major cosmic slowdown is asking us to get still and find our center. Working with planets when they are moving direct is like trying to have a serious conversation while jogging—it’s hard AF. So the retrograde parade happening right now allows us to meditate with these planets, to experience them in their stillness. And stillness is where we can begin to notice that a lot of the things we’ve been chasing no longer hold their allure. And that, babies, is when the spell gets broken. That’s when we reclaim our power. When we remember that we can choose the story of our life. We can choose what we want to commit to. We get to choose the why behind everything. That’s why we have to question everything in the first place.
Gemini is the sign of the twins, meaning duality. And isn’t that exactly what good questions do? Don’t they open up multiple possibilities? Now, multiple possibilities can create anxiety because we just want the answer, and we want it now. But I’m suggesting that there are many answers available. And perhaps Gemini season can be our opportunity to stand squarely in these in-between states, letting all the possibilities swirl around us without feeling the need to choose any particular one.
Lay down your certainty and pick up a magnifying glass; you are a detective on the trail of what still holds deep meaning for you. Don’t feel the need to solve the case immediately. Enjoy the twists and turns of each clue you find. Life is still here, and it is still worth living; but you must determine for yourself why that is so. And no one can do that for you and, frankly, no one should. Be brave, courageous, and compassionate as you take these next few weeks to have conversations with yourself and others that help illuminate and expose what still holds meaning for you and what no longer does.
Gemini Season also contains our first eclipse of our Summer Eclipse Season. It’s not just a Full Moon come June 5th, it’s a Lunar Eclipse. Eclipse Season will straddle Gemini and Cancer Seasons this summer; and let me remind you, Eclipses are cosmic course correctors. They take things away to put us back on path; sometimes they bestow gifts, sometimes they change things so fundamentally that there’s no going back. Either way, look to this New Moon in Gemini to prepare us for the intensity of Eclipse Season. Once you’ve discovered your new why, you’ll be more willing to release anything that doesn’t serve it.
Lastly, as an attempt to help ya’ll blow off some steam, channel your grief, and shake up your energy, we are hosting a series of Healing Breathwork Circles every other Saturday for the foreseeable future. Breathwork is an incredibly powerful tool to plug you back into the electrical socket of spirit and help you shift the old, stuck, stagnant shit that everyone carries around all the time. It’s an active meditation that will truly bring much-needed healing and release. It’s safe and effective, and it’s practically free. Breathwork basically saved my life when I discovered it, and it’s truly part of my life’s work to be able to hold space for you to experience it.
Don’t forget to reach out for help at this time. You aren’t supposed to go through this alone, even if literally you are at home, all alone. Readings and healings are still happening at this time, and we are working extra hard to make our podcasts not just entertaining but uplifting, empowering, and full of useful spiritual tools to help you fully accept the invitation of these batshit crazy times. Our last episode was all about using the numerology of your birthday to explore your soul-path through the Tarot. Do you know your life card or your year card? Find out by tuning in.
Below you’ll find your individual Tarotscopes. Read for your Sun Sign this month. For those of you who follow my weekly Cosmic Tarot Forecasts on the Spiritual Gayz IGTV, you’ll know that I’ve pulled the Sun card three weeks in a row—which is pretty bonkers. Clearly the star at the center of our solar system wants our attention, so who am I to direct your attention anywhere else?
Two of Wands
This is such a perfect card for you this moonth, Gemini. You see, the Twos in the Tarot are inherently Geminoid because they present us with options, and they ask us to make choices. And the Two of Wands is a choice about action. Essentially, will you stay or will you go? The card itself depicts a figure looking out over the landscape from the safety of their fortress. One wand is held in hand, encouraging new exploration; the other wand is securely chained to the wall.
Part of you is nervous to leave the familiar terrain of your old life, but adventure is calling you. A new world wants you to be a part of it. You have what it takes to make some serious moves this moonth, but you must summon your courage and make friends with the unknown. You know exactly what will happen if you keep at it the way you’ve been keeping at it: your hustle will beget more hustle. Why not shake it all up? Try something new. Reignite your passion and bravely step out into the wilderness. You’re too smart to play it so safe and too clever to waste your charm on people, projects, and dreams you don’t really give a flying leap about in the first place.
Knight of Swords (Reversed)
The Knight of Swords shows up when we need to change our minds. Let me remind you that you don’t have to believe everything you think. As human beings, we get so attached to our thoughts. But even more detrimental than getting attached to thoughts is getting attached to patterns and habits, especially when we’ve outgrown them. The Knight of Swords is you when you blow a great wind through your mind. Give yourself permission to think about things in another way. Look at your life from a different perspective, that’s where the freedom lies.
The reversal of this card may indicate how addicted you are to your old ways of thinking. Remember that Swords are also stories. Perhaps you have more of your identity wrapped up in these thought patterns than you are willing to admit. All the more reason to let hem go. You might be feeling afraid to release these old, stale opinions or beliefs because you’re not sure who you might be without them. But isn’t that when life gets interesting? You could be anyone! Release what’s no longer working and let yourself be surprised by who you really are.
Knight of Cups
The Knight of Cups is one cool customer. They are not easily triggered, nor do they react emotionally to even the most seductive of triggers. Rather, they stand their ground and maintain a neutral curiosity about all situations, both internally and externally. The Knight of Cups is you when you are willing to observe your emotional life without feeling the need to take action because of it. Essentially this card signifies a time in your life when you need to hold large amounts of space for your impressively wide range of emotions. But don’t you dare get swept up in a single one. In this way, you begin to unstick yourself from the most entrenched sticking posts of your heart.
The function of the Knights in the Tarot is to move energy. The energy of Cups is fluid, feeling-based, creative, and deeply relational. So how do we shift our relationships, our deepest emotional wounds and our creativity? By allowing all of it to move through us unencumbered. It’s like when your best friend comes over to vent about their boyfriend: they say they want advice, but really all they want is someone to listen. Just listening allows the energy to emerge, shapeshift as it will, and be released. Be that friend to yourself this moonth, and you’re sure to clear the waters of your own turbulent emotional ocean.
Nine of Cups (Reversed)
This is known as the Wish Card, and it reminds us that you are a wish the universe made. Maybe that sounds cheesy to you, but it’s true. The universe wished for you. It wished for someone with all your particular passions and problems, your eccentricities and enthusiasms. Your job in life is to stop blocking the unique wish that you are. The Nine of Cups is the precise moment when we realize how to crack ourselves open and allow the wish that we are to come true.
This is a card that speaks to self-fulfillment at all costs. How can you move in the world in a way that honors your soul at every turn? That’s the question to be living right now. The more you can float your own boat—creatively, professionally, and otherwise—the more at ease you will feel. The struggle is in trying to be who you think the world wants you to be. Well guess what, babes, the world really just wants the real you—I promise . . . even if they don’t know it yet. So stop modulating and masquerading. Commit to participating in only those things that sing your soul’s true song—sing it loud enough, and you'll find we all want to sing along.
The Magician (Reversed)
What would you do with your life if you knew no one was going to judge you for it? What would you do with your hair? What would you ask for if you knew no one would dare say no? The key to living like a Magician is staying in the power of absolute YES energy. And that is the invitation for you this moonth. It’s time to stop trying to live a life your mom would be proud of and start living a life your soul would be turned on by. The Magician shows up when we are ready to create our lives from scratch and allow magic to run all the way through us.
So what really gets you excited these days? Do you even know? Or are you too busy trying to be practical? Fuck practical. Get creative. This is your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reinvent yourself based solely on what you want out of life. Deep down you have always been making your choices based on what others would say. You’ve been living your life from the outside looking in. But baby, there’s no one here but you. So dive deep into your fiery heart and live your life from your deepest point. This is your moonth to dream the biggest dream and trust it can come true— because the only thing that stands in your way is you.
Three of Cup
Social distancing be damned, you can still have a kiki if you want to. I don’t know about you, but I’ve actually been connecting with my closest friends more deeply than ever. Since quarantine began, me and my oldest high school besties have a weekly Zoom call that never fails to lift my spirits. And instead of catching up every couple of months and just listing the greatest hits, we are now getting into the nitty gritty of each other’s lives. It’s incredibly nourishing, and it’s time for you to experience the same sort of soul-centered community. The Three of Cups is an invitation into genuine sisterhood, and it wants you to get real with the people that mean the most to you.
Vulnerability comes from allowing ourselves to be seen. The people who you allow to see you will reflect your true self back to you. This is the value of deep friendship, and that’s what you need right now. If you’ve been hiding from your loved ones, turning inward to your own detriment—stop it. Reach out. Call a sister. Put on a wig and have a dance party over Zoom. It’s time to remind yourself that life is built to be shared. And even if you can’t be in the same room, you can still all take up space in each other’s hearts. Let yourself be seen, because this is not the time to hide.
Page of Swords, (Reversed)
The function of the Pages in the Tarot is to ground us into the energy of the suit so that we can expand and integrate its wisdom. The Page of Swords wants to plant us firmly in our identity so that we can wield the sword of our authenticity without worrying about who might get sliced to bits. You are the Page of Swords when you know who you are and you give absolutely no fucks about whatever other people might think about you. This is a moonth to sink into the spine of who you are and what you stand for, everything else is just sprinkles, babe.
Swords are stories. A good story is one that empowers us and leads us forward. A bad story is like a sword we impale ourselves on, time and time again. You get to write the story that will help you conquer your inner demons and your outer obstacles. So this is the time to get literal, henny. What is the story you are wanting to write with your life? What would it look like for you to be living that story each and every day? This is what people mean when they talk about living their truth and standing in their truth and speaking their truth. They mean that their life is a vehicle to express their most relentless authenticity. I want that for you, but what I want doesn't mean squat—what do you want? And how badly will you fight for your life? Pick up the right sword and use it to build your best life, don't use old stories to tear yourself down.
King of Wands, (Reversed)
When was the last time you felt yourself? I mean really felt yourself. These days we can’t necessarily put on our Gucci and strut our power in the club—so we have to find other ways to flaunt our ferocity. The King of Wands is you when you are completely on fire, standing in your power and igniting the world around you. This is you when you take charge, suffer no fools, and embrace your sovereignty at all costs. There is an intensity and a danger here but also the potential for astounding magic. The King of Wands walks the edge between creation and destruction, the very powers of fire itself.
The reversal of this card would suggest that you aren’t entirely sure how to remember your power right now. Maybe your old tricks are unavailable. Maybe you’re full of doubt. The key to feeling power filled is to reconnect to the sources of your magnetic force. From a Shamanic point of view, our relationships with helping spirits are how we stay in touch with the source of all power. For you it might be about reconnecting to art, dance, sex, spirituality, or just nature. The important thing is that you spend this next moonth seeking out the electrical socket and plug yourself back in. It’s not just for you that the lights need to stay on; when you’re plugged in, you light up everything you touch.
Ten of Swords
Gurl, it’s over. Let it go. The Ten of Swords is a clear sign that your old bullshit is done. It has no power over you. It has no life left in it. You can put on a puppet show with corpses, if you want—but they are dead all the same. The Ten of Swords signifies a significant release of mental suffering. It’s the moment when all your identities have come to a close. The story of your agony has reached its inevitable conclusion, and if you want, you can step into another storyline . . . maybe one that's not quite so dramatic and painful.
What’s over is you. You have a choice in this next moonth not to change yourself but to realize how changed you already are. This is less of a makeover and more of a complete emotional, spiritual, and mental overhaul. If Swords are words, stories, and thoughts, your task in Gemini season is to rehabilitate your relationship with your mind. Life doesn’t have to be over-complicated, you have just gotten used to thinking about it that way. Pull each of these ten swords out, one at a time, cast them into the fire—then you will be free to live however you wish. Liberation is your aim this cycle, liberation at all costs, liberation even from your brilliant mind.
The old you is dead. It’s as simple as that. We die many times before we actually bite the big one. And the reinvention of our personal identity is part of the fun of being alive. So why are you holding on so tightly to who you used to be? They weren’t that great anyway—not compared to who you are becoming. The Death card in the Tarot invites us to bring an honorable death to the aspects of ourselves that are no longer truly alive. It’s like the dried up roses on the rosebush at the end of the Summer: if you don’t chop those suckers off, the whole rosebush dies—but if you sacrifice the roses, the plant lives. Who in you needs to die so the rest of you can live?
The other inextricable aspect of Death is Re-Birth. In fact, I plan to call this the Death/Re-Birth card whenever I make my Tarot deck—because it’s so easy to get stuck in the Death and forget why we are dying in the first place. We are dying to give birth to our freedom, to our new life, to our bigger, more expansive self. Don’t forget that for a moment. The more of you that gets buried in the earth, the more space for new glorious, surprising parts of yourself to embody. Take this moonth and search out who in you is living long past their expiration date; give them a ceremonial funeral and then notice your new life begin!
Page of Cups
I love the Page of Cups but, gurl, she is not easy. I call her the vulnerability card because that is what she asks of us. When we are embodying Page of Cups energy we are living our lives from inside our heart. That means we allow the full range of emotions to move through us, and we don’t block or filter ourselves one bit. The Page of Cups walks into a room and says, "Hi, here’s my heart." Can you allow yourself that sort of latitude with your feels? Can you play with your emotional life like a box of crayons? Remember not to judge your individual emotions; like an artist’s palette, every color is of value. Red is not better than brown.
This card also indicates a period of immense creativity and imagination. These sorts of expressive energies flow freely when we don’t block our hearts. The best writing, painting, singing—even the best Tarot readings—all come through the heart. So your job this moonth is to get in there, get messy. Feel everything. Rejoice that you can feel so much. And the more you can live in your heart, the more freedom you will find to actually express the things that have been wanting you to give them life. Figure out what it will take to call the spirit of your heart into your every moment, and once you’ve reconnected, don’t let go.
Two of Pentacles
Twos in the Tarot present us with choices. They signify moments when our one-lane life hits a fork in the road, and we have to decide which way to go. The Two of Pentacles specifically asks us to choose between growth or stagnation, between staying the same or moving on. Balance and change is the medicine this card can bring into your life. Take these next few weeks and really pay attention to the physical nature of your life. What things, clothes, habits, and patterns are no longer in alignment with who you’ve become?
This is total spring cleaning energy, so I would encourage you to pick a room and start clearing it out. Books you don’t read and never will again, get rid of ‘em. Jewelry that you never liked in the first place, give it away. Stop cluttering your space with old totems of who you used to be. You might just find that more room in your cupboards and drawers translates to more room in your heart. The key here is to not get stuck in your ways and find every means possible to liberate yourself from anything that feels stale. Don’t be afraid to change it all up this moonth. You might just find that you really do enjoy some variety, even if it’s just a different style of exercise or brand of tea.
BRANDON ALTER is a queer healer, Tarot reader, teacher, mystic and writer living in Los Angeles. He is passionate about sharing spiritual tools that have helped him reconnect to the wisdom of his heart. He is the Tarot reader in residence for The Numinous and he co-hosts The Spiritual Gayz with his husband, a twice-monthly podcast dedicated to exploring the wide reaches of spirituality, without pretending that it all makes sense. Brandon’s mom took him to his very first psychic when he was seven and gave him his first Tarot deck when he was eleven. Since then he has devoted himself to the study of Tarot, Yoga, Pilates, Reiki, Astrology and Shamanic Skills.